Does Abstaining Supercharge Your Work and Focus?
A growing number of people are cutting out romance in an attempt to achieve peak productivity. It sounds extreme, but a recent survey from the dating app Flure found that around 25% of those who abstain say they’re doing it to boost work performance. That’s a lot of folks skipping connection in the name of efficiency.
The idea isn’t new. Tim Ferriss, American entrepreneur and investor, once challenged followers to give up physical intimacy, self-pleasure, and alcohol for a month. Ancient Greek athletes reportedly avoided affection before competitions. Somewhere along the way, people started linking abstinence with strength, focus, and success. Let’s see how much the logic behind that holds up.
The No-Intimacy-for-Success Trend

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Intimacy isn’t a productivity killer. In fact, it helps. Psychologists explain that closeness with a partner supports stress relief, mental clarity, and immune function. Skipping out on that to get more done might backfire, since many people feel sharper, not sluggish, after meaningful contact.
After all, the brain doesn’t work like a spreadsheet. Blocking desire doesn’t automatically build discipline. In some cases, it makes things worse. That’s because when you tell yourself not to think about private matters, your brain doubles down. It keeps circling back. You burn mental energy trying to push it away.
Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at The Kinsey Institute, has studied this territory. He points out that there’s no solid evidence supporting the idea that avoiding physical contact boosts focus or performance. If someone believes it helps, that might be a placebo effect. They feel sharper because they expect to, not because anything biologically changed.
There’s another issue. People have different needs. For someone with a low drive, taking a break from romantic activity might feel like no big deal. They might not notice much of a change. But if you’re someone who feels more energized by physical closeness, pushing it away can cause restlessness, frustration, and irritability. Justin explains that in these cases, forced abstinence can cloud your thinking.
No Productivity Quick Fixes
Short-term celibacy might sound like a quick fix for burnout or a productivity slump, but it often misses the real cause. If someone feels overwhelmed at work, connection probably isn’t the culprit. Burnout, poor sleep, lack of exercise, or high stress are more likely to be the cause. Physical intimacy, on the other hand, often helps regulate all of those things.
Psychotherapist and researcher Dulcinea Pitagora adds another layer to the conversation. She believes the idea of romantic fasting often comes from shame-based thinking—the belief that pleasure needs to be earned or avoided in order to feel in control. According to Pitagora, this mindset can chip away at emotional well-being, increase guilt, and block healthy self-expression.
Pleasure Isn’t the Problem
Hustle culture makes people feel guilty for anything that isn’t tied to output. Rest becomes a luxury. Fun feels indulgent. When closeness gets lumped into that category, it becomes another thing to cut for the sake of efficiency. Thus, people remove healthy, joy-producing parts of their lives and wonder why they’re still burnt out.
Some who try abstaining might not even recognize the side effects until later. Less physical connection can mean more tension, less patience, and more distraction. Instead of feeling focused and motivated, the brain fixates on what’s missing. Pitagora says this can even lead to aggression or emotional numbness.
There’s also the myth that celibacy boosts testosterone. Ferris promoted this idea in his abstinence challenge. Research doesn’t support it. Short breaks may cause temporary hormonal changes, but those shifts don’t guarantee productivity boosts. Meanwhile, regular physical intimacy supports hormone balance, immune strength, and better sleep, and these are all helpful for concentration and stamina.
Balance Over Restriction
This doesn’t mean every deadline needs to be preceded by a cuddle session. The point is balance. Intimate time is one of many parts of a full life. Remove it out of fear or purported self-discipline, and you might lose more than you gain. The same goes for other pleasures. Social time, hobbies, naps—none of these directly generate income or checkboxes, but they’re what keep people functioning.
A Clearer Mind Comes From Living Fully
The deeper issue is how much people associate success with deprivation. They skip meals to fit into pants, skip sleep to meet deadlines, and skip connection to work harder. All of it comes from the same place: the idea that feeling good is a problem that needs solving. That kind of thinking burns people out.